A Wolf Becomes A Child

                                     ~Journal Entry from August 8, 2015 ~           

        Today is my last opening shift.  God, I give it to you. Lord, I have sinned and I keep believing the lies that all I want is the temporary pleasure, but that’s not the truth! I want more than that!  “…shall not perish but have eternal life…’ John 3:16b.  So often I recite this verse with the least amount of conviction or amazement!  I deserve to die a sinner’s death.  I am far from perfection.  I am a great actress, though.  I may look like a meek sheep, but I am a wolf in a beautiful and convincing disguise.  

THEN ENTERS JESUS!!!  

             The shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to find the one who is lost.  Well, guess what?!?!  He comes back to find another lost sheep, one even more lost than the one who wondered away.  For this sheep doesn’t even notice that it is a wolf.  I am the wolf.  Instead of showing wrath and chasing me away…like a shepherd is suppose to do when in contact with a predator, he invites me to stay.                     Why?  Why would He love the very thing that kills his beautiful sheep?  He feeds me from his place and gives me a bed in his house.  Slowly the disguise is pulled away.  Slowly, I start to change.  The rough tangled and mangled fur in combed out by Him?!!  He washes my paws…. He cleans out wounds I didn’t even know I had.  

                

            At times, tears stream down my face, but He is there to wipe them away…Leaving me without a single trace of heartbreak!  I start to feel different, not just on the outside, but on the inside.  Almost like the old me died…But I don't hurt anymore!!! No, I feel good, better than good!!! I feel fulfilled!  Here comes my new friend..with news to tell everyone.  He announces there will be a feast!!! I love feasts…tons of people…tons of food…it’s easy to get lost in the crowd.  But wait... What?!!?  The feast is in my honor…  

Me…

The wolf among the sheep…

How could that be????

He welcomes me to sit with Him in my room.  He notices the mirror covered by a cloth…He asks why?  I answer:  Because I hate being a wolf..it hurts to much.  I can’t change myself… it’s impossible…

He reaches out and pulls the sheet away to reveal me looking eye to eye with myself.  Before I could look away, I notice something has changed…. My fur has changed to brown hair flowing to my neck.  My claws are left bare with no fur but instead delicate fingertips…I wear clothes that flow with the wind and lay perfectly against my skin… 

I   AM    NO   LONGER    A   WOLF!!!!

Tears start to stream down my face… Jesus takes my hand into his own… 

“ You are no longer a wolf…You are my daughter…My dear Child!!!!”

I turn to face Him and see everything I have been looking for hidden in His eyes. 

COMPASSION.  LOVE. FORGIVENESS.  PURPOSE.  STRENGTH.  DESIRE.  PEACE.  HEALING.  COURAGE.  POWER.  TENDERNESS.  OPENNESS.  

I  see my father!!!  “ABBA!!!!” I scream!  Leaping into His arms.  We stay there, in that passionate embrace for some time.  Feeling life being breathed into me I am ready!! 

Ready for the feast.  To show everyone the new me!!  He grabs my hand and we walk down the stairs, hand in hand, to where the guests are waiting. 

I have been walking hand in hand with Jesus ever since He made me new and I experience HIs unconditional love every single day in new ways.  HE IS MY EVERYTHING!!