Living &Learning

Hello,

It's Me....

I know, I know.... Adele jokes are so old.....BUT LIKE COMEON, I am basically a grandma and don't know things till they are no longer a trend and will use them forever :) hehehehhe

I am currently sipping on some coffee made by the amazing, creative, sometimes annoying Ryan Carl Wilke.   I must say, I normally don't like blonde roasts, but this cup is doing it for me :)  I am sore from a week filled with activity and exciting for mid-semester break (next week).  Anyways, Hi again! Here is a little update on my life and what I have been learning ( I hope you enjoy)

Guys,  this week has been one of the best weeks I've had in a really long time!!!!    I've been praying for a breakthrough mentally, spiritually, and physically and
BAM the LORD FREAKING PROVIDES.
At the beginning of the new year I attended a New Life weekend seminar/workshop called Living Light.  This Weekend was amazing and everything I needed to encourage me in my new steps towards Wellness.

I didn't know I had an eating disorder.  While at the workshop, I realized I've been struggling with over eating and comfort eating for most of my life.  Looking back, it wasn't noticeable.  With intense club soccer training more than two times a week, games, and then High School soccer on top of it all, no one knew ( not even myself).   It wasn't until Junior year of High School after I quite club soccer that I slowly began gaining weight.

No one talks about over eating.  In college it is a normal activity to binge watch Netflix....while most likely binging on food as well.  When someone is feeling down or hurt, everyone goes out to eat to get their mind off the uncomfortable emotions.

Last semester, my over eating was the worst it has been.  With the new stresses from my job and most friends either studying abroad or transferring to a new school, I felt alone, sad, anxious, and many other emotions.  I comforted myself with food and isolated myself from others instead of reaching out to my people and getting help.

NOW,

I am in counseling and am beginning to learn how to be mindful of my emotions, instead of ignoring them.  :)  I actually eat vegetables and don't even walk by the dessert table in the cafe.  I have been working out almost every day AND LOVING IT!!!!  (the above statement is very shocking to me still hahahha)  Listening to the podcasts by Revelation Wellness has been a huge encouragement and transformed how I exercise.  I schedule and set time aside to experience God's love, to rest, and receive His love and provisions.  As I have been transforming my regular routine, I have also experienced clarity of mind and more energy.

Now, I could not have done any of this without God's guidance, the support of my small group, and my parents.  I also am still a work in progress.  There are days when all I want to do is to eat all of the chocolate in the world and eat a whole pizza while watching The Office, but there is no fulfillment in these things.

So,

This is real, this is me, I AM EXACTLY WHERE I AM SUPPOSE TO BE (always camp rock) and I hope you can join me.  Do something today that fills your spirit.  Go to the place where you see and feel God the most.  Talk to someone about your struggles.  Allow yourself to rest.  Feel your emotions and let them go to God.  Allow Him to clean your wounds and sing sweet loving songs over you.  Seek counseling and guidance.  Serve others.  DANCE.  SING. LOVE.

Long story long, this week I have seen God continuously provide for me and meet me where I am.  He has bent down to listen to my cries, prayers, and even my childish secrets.  He has held me in His arms when I'm afraid and sung me to sleep.

He hears you.  He sees you.  His hand is outstretched, eyes beckoning, asking,"Trust me."
Cling onto Him and He will lead you, He will heal your heart.
He will forgive you; He already has.  He Will Love You; He always has and always will.

Till next time :)

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Songs to listen to:
"Head to the Heart" by United Pursuit
"In the River" by Jesus Culture
"Mercy" by Amanda Cook

I love this quote that popped up on my Pinterest the other day:
"Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do, not a punishment for what you ate."

Psalm 116 is amazing...give it a read....here is a snippet: vs. 1-9
"I love the Lord because he hears my voce
  and my prayer for mercy,
Because he bends down to listen,
  I will pray as long as I have breath!
Death wrapped its ropes around me;
  the terrors of the grave overtook me.
  I saw only trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the LORD:
"Please, Lord, save me!"
How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
  So merciful, this God of ours!
The LORD protects those of childlike faith;
  I was facing death, and he saved me.
Let my soul be at rest again,
  for the LORD has been good to me.
He has saved me from death,
  my eyes from tears,
  my feet from stumbling.
And so I walk in the LORD's presence
  as I live here on earth! "
5 8

Newness

It is January 9, 2017.
It is raining.
Classes start again today.
I started my day by walking in the rain while listening to THE Tom Holladay talk about newness on the Drivetime Devotions app.  It was beautiful walking in the misting rain.  The droplets would hit my face and stick there.  By the end of my walk, I was covered in rain.  Shoutout to the parentals Jim and Lisa for the raincoat that works amazing! Morning walks are something I have begun to make a habit.  Something about being conscious before 8:00 is a challenge, but once I get out the door I am at peace.  The rain is calming, and the message of newness nourished my soul.  So if anyone saw a girl with bright pink shoes, and a black raincoat walking around Concordia Campus, it was me :)

Newness is both beautiful and scary.  It involves change, which most of the time is uncomfortable, but does breed good character and heart growth.  On a trip, this could mean a new destination, a new route, a new companion, a new question.  Whatever that may be, newness leads to a revival of the heart.  Last semester, was exhausting and overwhelming.  Most of the time, I was feeling helpless and confused as to what I needed to do both with my new job as an RA, and with balancing school work and the rest of life.

But this year!!! THIS year.  God is washing me with holy rain to cleanse me and reveal newness.  I have heard God's call to wonder with Him into newness.  I have heard His call to trust Him, lean on Him, shamelessly dance with Him.   This verse in Romans has really hit me, and I love it because it is so short and simple, but packed with an enormous amount of wisdom.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

So simple, but something for wherever you are when you read this.  Know that the God who created you, not only loves you but wants to live life with you.  He has something new for you, but that may mean having to trust Him with something you hold onto tightly.  Giving up something that is putting a space between your relationship with Him.

I know I'm probs really late on the whole Simple Gospel album by United Pursuit, but goodness yall must give it a listen.  The songs are filled with truth and are really prayers we can declare each and every day.  I pray you all have a blessed day and I'll talk to you all soon!