A Wolf Becomes A Child

                                     ~Journal Entry from August 8, 2015 ~           

        Today is my last opening shift.  God, I give it to you. Lord, I have sinned and I keep believing the lies that all I want is the temporary pleasure, but that’s not the truth! I want more than that!  “…shall not perish but have eternal life…’ John 3:16b.  So often I recite this verse with the least amount of conviction or amazement!  I deserve to die a sinner’s death.  I am far from perfection.  I am a great actress, though.  I may look like a meek sheep, but I am a wolf in a beautiful and convincing disguise.  

THEN ENTERS JESUS!!!  

             The shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to find the one who is lost.  Well, guess what?!?!  He comes back to find another lost sheep, one even more lost than the one who wondered away.  For this sheep doesn’t even notice that it is a wolf.  I am the wolf.  Instead of showing wrath and chasing me away…like a shepherd is suppose to do when in contact with a predator, he invites me to stay.                     Why?  Why would He love the very thing that kills his beautiful sheep?  He feeds me from his place and gives me a bed in his house.  Slowly the disguise is pulled away.  Slowly, I start to change.  The rough tangled and mangled fur in combed out by Him?!!  He washes my paws…. He cleans out wounds I didn’t even know I had.  

                

            At times, tears stream down my face, but He is there to wipe them away…Leaving me without a single trace of heartbreak!  I start to feel different, not just on the outside, but on the inside.  Almost like the old me died…But I don't hurt anymore!!! No, I feel good, better than good!!! I feel fulfilled!  Here comes my new friend..with news to tell everyone.  He announces there will be a feast!!! I love feasts…tons of people…tons of food…it’s easy to get lost in the crowd.  But wait... What?!!?  The feast is in my honor…  

Me…

The wolf among the sheep…

How could that be????

He welcomes me to sit with Him in my room.  He notices the mirror covered by a cloth…He asks why?  I answer:  Because I hate being a wolf..it hurts to much.  I can’t change myself… it’s impossible…

He reaches out and pulls the sheet away to reveal me looking eye to eye with myself.  Before I could look away, I notice something has changed…. My fur has changed to brown hair flowing to my neck.  My claws are left bare with no fur but instead delicate fingertips…I wear clothes that flow with the wind and lay perfectly against my skin… 

I   AM    NO   LONGER    A   WOLF!!!!

Tears start to stream down my face… Jesus takes my hand into his own… 

“ You are no longer a wolf…You are my daughter…My dear Child!!!!”

I turn to face Him and see everything I have been looking for hidden in His eyes. 

COMPASSION.  LOVE. FORGIVENESS.  PURPOSE.  STRENGTH.  DESIRE.  PEACE.  HEALING.  COURAGE.  POWER.  TENDERNESS.  OPENNESS.  

I  see my father!!!  “ABBA!!!!” I scream!  Leaping into His arms.  We stay there, in that passionate embrace for some time.  Feeling life being breathed into me I am ready!! 

Ready for the feast.  To show everyone the new me!!  He grabs my hand and we walk down the stairs, hand in hand, to where the guests are waiting. 

I have been walking hand in hand with Jesus ever since He made me new and I experience HIs unconditional love every single day in new ways.  HE IS MY EVERYTHING!!  

Exactly Where I'm Supposed To Be

Wow... it has been over a whole month since I last wrote.  A lot of things have happened.  A lot of things were started.  A lot of things ended.  But I guess that's kindof how life works...Right!?!?

In order to start something new, we must finish tying the loose ends of something else.

You want to know a secret?.....  I thought this year would be different.  In fact, this year didn't go the way I planned AT ALL!!! Although I must say it went even better than I planned!!

Looking back at first day of college Carly,  I had a lot planned for my life.  I had it in my mind that I knew exactly what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be part of, and who I wanted to be.  Hahahaha but boy was I wrong...LOLZ.

Here are some things that I wanted to be true (some did come true):  get connected to a great group of girls at school,  be motivated to do my best in every class, sing in the women's choir at Concordia,  make everyone I pass smile,  try to be as positive and authentic at the same time as possible, learn something new, lead a seventh grade small group, get connected in the College Ministry at church, be vulnerable with a brand new small group, help out around the house, do the whole art thing more often, read more, write more, sing more, learn to play the piano, adventure somewhere completely new, go on my first date, maybe find a certain someone special, and plenty more....

Here is what actually happened in order of the list above( prepare to laugh):  I am beyond grateful for the girls I met at Concordia!  They teach me about love and encourage me every day to be the best me there is! The whole motivation thing ended around first semester ahahaha but thankfully all my new gal friends and I pushed through and were able to accomplish our first year strong!  I did sing in the women's Choir first semester but then found out I had vocal calluses and needed to take a break and rest my voice.  I also had to do voice therapy.  I will not be going back to choir sadly, but the girls I met there are precious to me and it was a blessing making music with them! I learned that it is literally(that's right, not figuratively, but for reals) impossible to make everyone happy, but that doesn't mean you don't try, it just means you trust that God will send another person to catch the ones you missed.  Same goes for the next one.  It is really hard to be authentic, but I have learned that the more authentic you are, the more joy you can share with someone!  Joy lasts, happiness fades away.  My brain is filled with random facts about the History of California, Anthropology, Biology, Theology, Philosophy, The Nature of Mathematics, and much much more...if you ever want to know something random shoot me a message hahaha! My seventh-grade girls are crazy, loud, very good actresses, but they are also very sweet, kind, carry a lot of heartache, and most importantly just need a good big sister.  That is what my co-leader Kenzie and I try to be and it is a challenge I accept each and every day ( even on the days when they drive me crazy and require a ton of Grace...love you girls!!)  I love CM at Saddleback Church!!! I have grown so much because of it and my small group which has been amazing!! We are so vulnerable and it is beautiful!  I love doing life with these girls and I know we will grow as a group these next years ahead of us! My poor parents.... I have been the worst roommate ever... I am trying to be better about taking the trash out, doing some chores, and helping my mom out with dinner and stuff...they are amazing parents and super encouraging!! I love writing, painting, crocheting, singing, sewing....everything artlike!!! I have learned that God is my sole inspiration and without him I can do none of these things!!  The Piano thing has finally started!! Just got a keyboard and it is amazing!! IF anyone wants to teach me I would love help!! hahaha

Life has been its own adventure, but I have also gone on hikes with some amazing people and visited the most beautiful locations that just screams God's creativity!!
The First date has been accomplished blahahahahahahahah!  Only took like 19 years but was well worth the wait!  He was awesome and such an inspiring man.  He taught me a lot about myself and I treasure our friendship!!   To answer the next one...no haven't found the special person yet.... I have found a bazillion special people!!  God has blessed me with so many new relationships that it is overwhelming.  Now I am not at all saying that I know each and every one of these new people, but that they still are making an impact on my life and I know we will one day know each other very well.

So yes I may still have a lot of learning to do, and I may still be just as confused about life now compared to when I started this year, but I have also learned so many things about myself and who God is molding me into.

I felt so convicted by this verse today:
 "My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.  It is the Lord who judges me.  Therefore, judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes.  He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts.  At that time each will receive his praise from God." ~ 1 Corinthians 4:4-5

God is revealing the motives in my heart.  He is bringing to light all that has been hidden in darkness.  Sometimes I don't like what I see or what He is teaching me, but I know one thing... that HE loves me and has a purpose for me.  He promises me a life like no other and I want that!!  [p.s. HE loves you too! And has a plan for you!! I am always here to pray for you guys!!]


Just like the wise words of Demi Lovato from Camp Rock:
This is real
This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me

Learning How to Walk

It’s one of those moments that all parents look forward to and dread at the same time: to witness their little child take their first steps.  Their once so small and very needy little treasure is  now growing up into an independent little toddler.  Parents are excited!!! And sad… their little one wants to explore while momma wants to hold tight her little one and soak in every moment of love.  She wants them to stay small but knows they must grow up.  They must learn to walk, then jog, then run…  But my question is…

When did life become dependent on how busy you are, how fast you are running, how productive you are?  What happened to the quality of life?  When did we substitute              over-involvement for silence and solitude? When did we start to believe that being alone actually means you are alone?  

Seriously, I have been wondering about this for a while now!! And I totally did this…I still do. I skipped walking and instead started to sprint through life.  Everything rushed past me and sure I enjoyed some of it… but how much of the real Carly was there… present both physically and mentally????  Probably not much. 

Our society has not only accepted this mentality and way of living life like a race, but it actually congratulates people on being busy!!  

Now I am wondering…. Were we really created to live like this?? Running and Rushing from place to place??!!?  Ummmmmm… NOOOOOOOO!!!  We were made to walk.  To experience life not just get through it.  

In High School, I was over-involved and under too much stress.  I was stretched thin and not living life the way God calls us to live…

I am learning to walk again. And if I am completely honest, it is like soooooo hard.  It's like having to retrain a human on how to be, well, human.  I have been living life with the wrong mentality, with the wrong goals.  It has always been about how much I can get done, rather than how well I am actually doing.  It has all been about how many people I can impact, rather than authentically, and lovingly impacting a few.  

God is changing me and it is uncomfortable.  It is.  I will warn you, it is not easy. But!! I would also like to inform you that life could not be any better!  Instead of rushing through a Bible passage, I linger in the word longer and sit in God’s presence for as long as I can rather than only a few minutes.  I have learned to Shut UP!! And to stop speaking over God.  Sometimes the prayer I am about to pray, or the question I am about to ask, is already being answered if I would just stop and listen.  Or even, sometimes the things I am praying about are not in God’s plan…maybe I have been praying wrong too!! Rushing into what is going on in my life, in my kingdom instead of focussing on God’s Kingdom and His will.  

Walking through life with Jesus is seriously the best thing I could ever recommend to anyone who is feeling restless, overdone, stressed, unmotivated, unhappy, confused, and just wondering if life was meant to be something so much more than what it has become.  

So, if you are just like me and thinking there is more to life than getting a job, marrying someone, having a family, learning to cook, doing well in school, having lots of friends, and so forth.  Then Please join me and start learning how to walk again! ( All of these things are great, and most of these things are very important to myself, but not if they are pushing God and a healthy life out the window) 

Encouraging Verses: Here we can see Jesus going off to pause and reflect.  He did not just stay for a few minutes, no He lingered there.  He did not worry about where He was going,no! He offered everything up to God the Father! Soooooooo... We should do this too! We need to stop racing everywhere and instead start slowing down and walk through life with the best companion out there (any doctor who fans?? hahaha) NO it is not the doctor!  It is Jesus!!!!!!

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." -Luke 5:16

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." -Mark 1:35

Communication Through Silence

So, I know its been a while since my last post and I have very much missed writing.  But recently I have been learning something new.  The importance and existence of silence.

As I wrote in a previous post, I was in a very loud and very verbal season with God.  It felt like everything was speaking to me in ways that I didn't even understand and I didn't know how to express what I was learning.  God shined some light on spoken word and this whole idea of writing a blog.  I took it and ran.  The Holy Spirit gave me strength to go for miles and miles, years, and years... and then all of a sudden *cricket sounds*......

Seriously, I was like WWWWHHAATT??  Um excuse me upstairs... where did you go? Um, what were you saying again?

At first, I heard nothing.  I started feeling discouraged and confused.  What happened to me and God? Why was He not responding anymore?  But boy did I have it wrong.  God never hung up the phone...HE was still speaking to me... but in a new way...through SILENCE!!!

This idea popped into my head one day when I was on my way up the hill ( or minny mountain in my opinion) located on my school's campus.  I walked up that hill (mountain) and started my normal routine.  I put my blanket down, put my lunch pail on the side, drink some water, (try to catch my breathe...it is a big hill!!!), and sit down.  I opened my SheReadsTruth app and read what was part of the series we were going through.
"If only you would be altogether silent! Fo you, that would be wisdom." ~Job 4:15

God still speaks through silence.  And I am learning that silence is necessary for a balanced life!  Sometimes when there are no words...maybe I am not looking at the current decision, or problem from the right angle, maybe I need a new perspective.  Or maybe, just maybe, I NEED TO BE PATIENT and wait on the Lord! Silence doesn't mean there isn't a reply, or that you have not been heard, or that someone doesn't hear you.  Silence is Powerful.  Silence is Humbling.  Without silence, words would not be, we would all speak jibberish.  Without silence, music would sound like noise... Every pause of breath, every crescendo and decrescendo, every time the conductor allows the sound to ring in the room after it has finished... they are observing silence in its truest form... Silence is Beautiful.

So I am not going to make this a long post, or speak on and on about how amazing silence is.  It is really hard! But, I have also learned so much in this new season of life and I look forward to learning more and more each and every day.

My challenge for you all today is to find some time to be in silence.  When you pray, take some time to make sure you are not speaking over God, it may save you some words if you just let Him say what He needs to say!  Also, I challenge you all to stop looking at Silence as something revolting.  Welcome Silence in and learn to listen for the faintest whisper.

I love you all and am praying for you!

The Name Change:

I love the outdoors.  It has always been something that just quickens my heart.  That probably is so because my wonderful parents and grandparents took my two brothers and myself camping every summer.  It became a beautiful tradition that I looked forward to and for some reason summer was just not summer without the trip!

Each year I fell more in love with God's beautiful creation.  It called my name begging me to spend time in peace and tranquillity...to escape this chaotic world and just sit in God's presence.  Still to this day the hills beckon me to climb them and run around free of all the cares of this world.

Well.....did you know that at my school, Concordia University if ya didn't know hahahah, there is this hill right on campus....It was one of the things that caught my eyes when I first visited the campus during my senior year of High School.  At the time, it was brown, kind of had this look of, well, decaying plants...but I believed it could be beautiful...

Fast forward to present time,and boy is that hill gorgeous.  I have been adventuring all over it since the start of my second semester of college.  Every Monday and Friday I have a two hour gap between my classes, so I bring a lovely {healthy...still keeping this temple clean and ready to go!} picnic lunch, a brightly colored woven blanket, a lot of water{hydration is key...also I am still getting into this whole work out thing hahahah I'll keep you posted}, my journal, my laptop, my bright blue or bright orange running shoes, my phone{already connected to Concordia WiFi and playing pandora or Spotify.. don't want to go over my data plan}, and I hike up that hill like no other.

It's so relieving after a long morning to just escape, breathe, reflect, and change my perspective on what is going on.  My morning classes: Theology then Biology.  My afternoon classes: Cultural Anthropology and Psychology.  So, as you can see all my classes involve a lot of deep thought.  I love deep thought things and mind-boggling concepts or propositions.  I love the challenge... but I am also human and need a break every once in a while.  My hike is just what I need, and boy did God plan that out so perfectly...like He always does!

It's on top of that hill where I have been feeling inspired to write.  Having the view of not only gorgeous purple flowers, green grass, and the occasional birds, but also overlooking Irvine, Lake Forest, and Saddleback Mountan...ya it doesn't get much better{except from on top of Saddleback Mountain, of course :) one day!}

It is so humbling sitting up there and witnessing how big just a portion of Orange County is, which is just a portion of Souther Califonia, which is only a small part of the United States, which is only a small part of Earth! Which is only a small, water covered planet part of the solar system. Oh and our solar system is only a small speck of dust compared to the Milky Way Galaxy... Oh and all those stars you see in the sky... well actually some of those are other galaxies millions of light years away.  And then there is the Universe.  So much is unknown about the size, yet the beauty locked away beckons us to adventure into space and discover more about the amazing artist who painted all of this and us up one day.

So yea, we are small, but we are also the only creation that God desires to have an intimate relationship with!  He is jealous for you! For your time, your love, your tears, your joy, your pain, your sorrow, your baggage, your stories, your heart, your jokes, your quirks.... all of it... HE WANTS YOU!!! The very messy, yet beautiful and strong you!

Now I am wondering... Where is your Hillside?  Where do you feel called away to just enjoy the presence of God? Where do you escape the business of this world and experience perfect peace from the Perfect God?  Where do you go to reflect and change your perspective?  Where can you lock eyes with your creator and allow Him to lavish His love onto you?

If you know where that place is... go to it. Make it a routine to have time to pause and not only reflect, but also reconnect with God!  If you don't know of such a place, then start looking.  Search around your neighborhood, your backyard, in a tree, on a hill, anywhere where you can breathe and enjoy silence and just breathe in God's wisdom, love, and infinitely more!

My place is on the Hillside, so from now one...These will be my thoughts on a hillside.

"Come Have Breakfast." ~John 21:12a

In highschool, I used to do this thing every night.  When I got home from a late practice, work, small group, church, anything you name it...I would get out of my car and just look up.  The sky mesmerizes me and captures my heart!  I felt so close to God while staring at the stars {and yes I may or may not have a constelation location app on my phone... ahahha}

After a while, just five minutes wasn't enough.  I wanted to see God in more than just the stars.  So, I started going on hikes, walks on a nearby trail, listeneing to music, journaling, everything.  But something was still missing.  I wasn't   "feeling" God.  I knew He was real and loved me, but I hit this valley of not hearing God's voice.

It was really tough.  But then college came and God flipped my life upside down.  I have never had to depend so much on God for not only physical strenght, but menatal, and spiritual and all types of strenght.  My first semester was a huge growing season for me!  I started getting back into reading the Bible and learning more and more about our creator!!

One day while I was studing John with the amaizing online bible study SheReadsTruth, a verse popped out at me and struck a cord.

It reads:
"Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." None of the disciples dared ask him, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Lord."
     ~ John 21:12 ~

Now here is some background: Jesus had risen from the dead!!!! He had visited His disciples before, but in this moment they did not recognize it was Him at first.  It was the usual busy day trying to make a living for Simon-Peter, Thomas, Nathaniel, and a few others.  There lives depended on how well the catch of the day goes.  And the day was not off to a good start.  It was early in the morning when all of a sudden Jesus pops up out of no where and asks the men, " Friends, haven't you any fish?"  They replied, "No."  Jesus said to put the nets on the right side of the boat and then they will find some.  Of course the men relucktainly throw the nets on the right side....then all of a sudden huge fish were everywhere = basically they were ritch now.  My favorite part is what follows.

"Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter," It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him and jumped into the warter."
   ~John 21:7 ~

I love how spontaneous Simon Peter's love for Jesus is.  He becomes overwhelmed by the love and joy he feels when in realtaitonship with the Lord and all that does is drive him to want more.  More of Jesus!

So, now I wonder.  What would it look like if we had breakfast with Jesus every day.  And think about it.  Breakfast time is the most raw time of day.  You are just waking up, probably still in your pjs, hair is a mess, still sort of in dream land, and the only thing calling your name and really pulling you away from your bed is a cup of coffee {seriously though!!!}  And yet God still wants to not only have breakfast with us, He wants to provide us with breakfast.  Now I am not talking about physical food {although that would be nice too...hahah food touched by an angel..I mean God}.  I am talking about spiritual food.  The only type of food that will last forever and ever.

If we start our days out founded on truth, our perspectives will change from all about us to all about God!  And if we sew truth, love, peace, beauty, patience, kindess, selfcontrol, gentleness.....all things pure in the eyes of the Lord, all that is left to be reaped will be blessings. Now I am not saying everything will be fine and dandy with butterflies everywhere and double rainbows.  This world is broken and we are broken people.  There will be moments when God throws out your comfort only because He cares more about your character and who you are becoming!

Each mornign is a brand new start, a new breath of life.  Everything from the day before is in the past now, in fact it is old history, and it can not be changed.  All that you can control is how you spend your time today and tomorrow.

Let me tell you, I have been doing this since the beginning of the new year, and I have changed.  I feel more comfort, love, courage, boldness, and strenght from God.  Through the Holdy Spirit I experience God's unimaginal power.  And the more time I spend in intimacy with God, the more power I am given.  After just a few days,  only breakfast was not enough.  I wanted even more!  So then I started adding in lunch, snack, dinner, and then I realized I can be in complete unity and in the presenc of God at all times.

As I have grown in my walk with God by devolping and practicing communion with God.
I have learned how to grow in the two types of Holiness: 1. I am set apart for God's special purposes. and 2.  I am seta part from teh world, dedicated for intamacy with God.
Finally when you add in Faith: believing God is genuinly eager for goodness of miracles and taking risks in order to gro.
 When you add all three of these components you end up with the Power of the Holy Spirit.  The more we grow in relationship with the Holy Spirit, the more we will grow in the Holy Spirit's Power{God's Empowering Presence}

I love what John Mark Comer, the pastor of Bridgetown church in Portland, has to say about the Holy Spirit and temptaion:
         "Every temptation you face, is a chance to grow in the power of teh Holy Spirit."

Every time you choose God over your own selfish desires, or choose to honor Him by doing your homework rather than going to a party,  you are growing int he power of the Holy Spirit.

So this week, try having breakfast with Jesus.  It may not feel that great at first, but after a while you will understand what I mean about never feeling like your thirst is quenched.  Let's run to God, and trust Him and His plan for lives.

Let's have breakfast with Him and with other believers.  Let's let God make us breakfast and fill our spirits to the point of overflowing with His Holy Presence{the Holy Spirit}, His love, His Peace, His strength, His courage, His boldness....Let's allow God to move inside of us and use us in ways we never new were possible.

He invites you every morning, every night, every day, every month, every year, every lifetime.
Will you RSVP?  Will you sit with your creator and breath in new life, comfort, and power?

Let's Be Bold

So this past week I made a very big change in my life.  I decided to do a 10-day detox in order to get my metabolism under control and to make sure my body systems and functions are all working great!

Tomorrow is day 10.  I will be honest, this week has been the hardest, and most challenging week for me to finish.  My house is always filled with lovely, tasty goodies..but not always the most healthy.  I love bread. I love meat.  I love sugar. I love chocolate.  I don't have a sweet tooth....all my teeth are sweet teeth.  But here I am, not perfect, but improved!  It was hardest on day one, and two, and three, and each and every day.  The only way I was able to stay strong and determined to finish this detox was when I gave it up to God.

That's right.  I learned that I was not going to be able to do this on my own strength.  But there is this really cool guy, who may be the creator of the world and holder of my life who is like almighty.  He is very helpful.  And it's so crazy to think that He wants to be a part of every aspect and moment of my life.

Now you are probably wondering why I am rambling about this whole 'new diet' thing, when the title of this post is "Let's Be Bold".  And here is the reason.

I want to be bold.  I want to be able to look into the eyes of my deepest darkest fears and not tremble and the only way for me to do that is to completely depend on God.  That's partly why I am changing the way I eat, the way I work out, and the way I look at school.  I have started to do these things as an act of worship.  I have changed my mindset, not to be self-empowered, but to be God-empowered.  (Also, this body of mine is a temple, and a temple is a place of worship, the dwelling place of the living God....so I want to keep it sparkling, glorifying, and at its best for my King.  )

This concept of being bold in every aspect of my life has been rattling in my mind this whole week! I want to be bold for Christ at school, at work, at home, anywhere and everywhere and at any and every moment possible.

This verse is what caused the mind-blowing changes in my life:

"Paul, an apostle--sent not from men nor by a man, but by Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead-- and all the brothers and sisters with me, To the churches in Galatia:  Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
~ Galatians 1:1-5 ~

Now, this is a bold statement by Paul, and I love every single bit of it!  He first off proclaims that whom he serves is not from this world, but the God of all things!  He then gives glory to God and praises Jesus for saving us from our sins.  He finally blesses those whom he is speaking to.

What would it look like if we took this same approach in everything we do?  What if we re-write this with our own names?

Example:  Carly, a disciple--sent not from men nor by a man, but by Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead--and all the brothers and sisters with me, To all who hear me:  Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory for ever ad ever. Amen.

Living this out almost demands us to stand a little bit taller, and say things a little more clearer and with more confidence.  We are not walking this life alone.  God gives us His strength and gives us the boldness to proclaim the Good News to all that may listen!

I pray you find somewhere in your life that you can be Bold For Jesus. And just watch, watch how He will change your heart and bless you in ways that are most special to you!

Let's Be Bold For Him Together!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Encouraging Verses:

"I love you, Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies." -Psalms 18:1-3

"You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.  With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.  As for God, his way is perfect:  The Lord's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him." -Psalm 18: 28-30

Infinitely Beautiful: The Poem

What an amazing weekend

filled with amazing friends.

What a mind blowing concept

that is infinite.  

Ephesians 3:20

Now all glory to God, who is able, 

through his mighty power at work within us, 

to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Now I pray

that we give glory to God 

in ever possible way.  

That we lean on him, instead of holding our own breath.

That we stop being someone we are not, just to be known.

That we stop walking on the path that leads to our death.

Did you know?

That God created the stars in the sky,

all the animals, plants, and trees on the land

just so that Adam, you, or I could lend a helping hand.

Did you know?

He gave us the world to spark our questions and start asking why?

And that why is the guy both 100% man and 100% God.

He loves you more than everything in our vast universe.  

He pours out his love for you in ever single Bible verse.  

He did that and so much more.

Every morning and night

He paints the sky in colors of orange, red, purple, and pink.

All just so that we know that we are adored and are taken in delight.

And did you know that He prayed for you?

Yes..He prayed for you. 

Back in the time when He walked on this Earth,

right before He was captured and sentenced to death,

He prayed for me and He prayed for you.  

He prayed for us to trust what He said to be true.

John 17:23 

Jesus {prays} this:

"I have given them the glory that you gave me,

that they may be one as we are one--

I in them and you in me--

so that they may be brought to complete unity.

Then the world will know that you sent me

and have loved them even as you have loved me."

Such beautiful words from our creator,

yet we sit on our couches saying, " I'll read the Bible later."

As if later will actually come,

but the weight of this world will bring us to our knees

and we will scream, " I AM DONE!"

I am done, holding my breath for what is to come.

I am done, trying to be perfect, when all that matters are the thoughts from the Son. 

I AM DONE.

And when you are finally done following this world, done following this world,

Jesus sweeps in and lifts you in His everlasting arms.

And whispers into your ear,

"You are not alone, my beloved, I AM here for you.  Stop living your life with hostility,

and start depending on my abilities."

For I, Carly Ann Wilke, will testify till the day that I die

That the God who created the vast universe cares for not only me, but for you.

Now it is your decision to choose, 

and I pray that you choose the one who makes all things new.

The one who loves us all with a love that is:

beyond dutiful, or suitable, in fact it is unusual,

and at times musical, always truthful, immeasurable,

irrefutable, and

INFINITELY BEAUTIFUL! 

Infinitely Beautiful: The Thoughts

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Last weekend I was able to attend Saddleback Church's College Ministry winter retreat, CM Summit.  All 80, give or take a few, of us jumped onto two busses and started our treacherous journey to Big Bear. One bus had air conditioning, and the other did not.  I was in the the bus from hell..... seriously I think I lost weight from how much I was sweating. 

But anyways, the weekend's trip was called INFINITE.  Our verse was Ephesians 3:20.  It reads,"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at worth within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."  This verse hit me, and still recks my thoughts today.  The concept that in and through us God is working every single moment of the day, is both a humbling and honoring thing.  And those two ideas don't go together all too often.  

For instance, today I decided that even though I had a stuffy nose and was still recovering from a cold, I was going to go on a walk.  There is this beautiful trail by my house that I have been running on lately.  (more often than usual!! Go exercise).  I was planning on running a small portion of the trail, but this verse kept popping into my head.  Along with John 19:11, "Jesus answered, 'You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin."  

So on my walk, I kept going.  Every so often an opening came near and I could have turned back and still be proud I went that far.  But instead of depending on my own power, I leaned on God.  I prayed for strength. (and a good song to get me motivated....Shut up and Dance went on, I danced, of course, and looked like a fool to another runner, but whatever.) 

 Now if our power comes from God and He is the creator of the world, I don't think I need to be worrying about what I am going to eat for lunch, or what I am going to wear today, or what anyone thinks of me.  All that matters is that I look to God and listen to what He says of me, and what He desires for me to do.

He loves me, and He loves you. Compared to all that He created, we are pretty darn small. We are the ones guilty of handing Jesus over to the cross.  We are the ones, each day that hammer a nail into his hand.  But we are also the ones who bear His image and we are the ones that He loves the most. We are the ones that He sacrificed himself for. 

So what do you think about God's infinitely beautiful love?

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Stop Waiting

So just to let you guys know,  I am an over-romantic, easily excited college girl who dreams of having a family and living with my perfect husband ( who knows how to make me tic) in a beautiful home somewhere in the woods.  {woods= trees, so anywhere there is a grouping of trees}.

On top of that, I love reading romantic books that make every girl's hearts melt and drop...wishing the male character would be real and saying his romantic and eloquent words to me..... Also, I love romantic movies, now I also love action movies and Sci-Fi, but come on every movie has some sort of love triangle, sometimes more than a triangle, but you get the point.

I am in love with the idea of being in love.  And I can't wait to feel that way about someone who feels the same way about me.

If any of you have seen the movies Ever After, any of the Lord of the Rings movies, the Hobbit, Becoming Jane, Sense and Sensibility.... you will have witnessed what I am trying to put to words.

The women in these movies are dainty, lovely, bright, beautiful beyond just outer appearances, caring, talented, quaint, brave, courageous, lady-like, and they demand respect from men and those around them.  For so long have I dreamed of being Éowyn from Lord of the Rings, who not only is encouraging and caring, but she is a fighter and disguises herself as a man to fight for her kingdom, even when the outcome may be death.  She is jaw dropping captivating.  

The male characters also are gentlemen, though some are flawed, the ones we should care about are more than just boys dressed up to fight, they are men.  They learn as they go and grow into caring, strong, honorable, loving, intelligent and respectful men.   They are the knights any girl in this world dreams about at night.  I most certainly have been waiting for my Aragorn and Legolas :) hahah.

Now the problem to all these totally normal thoughts, is that while I have been waiting for my prince charming, true love has been staring right at me.  True love has been guiding me through my whole life.  True love has been comforting me when I am upset.  True love has been laughing with me.  True love has been wandering with me through this world.  True love has set me free.  True love died on a cross for me....

JESUS IS MY TRUE LOVE!!!  

Only He will be able to provide me with all the love, encouragement, company, and acceptance I need.  

So, when all I want is to meet someone who will make my heart skip a beat, who will constantly pursue me, who will bring me flowers, who will read to me, who will hold my hand, who will live life with me....The only one who can fulfill this desire is Jesus.  And boy does he do it well!

Every morning He shines His love for me with the beauty locked in a sunrise.  Each day He walks beside me as I go to my classes, go to work, go to work out.  You name it, He is with me.  He makes the leaves fall down in ways that just take my breath away.  He makes the hills so green that I can feel the beauty pouring into the very depths of my soul.  He captures my attention with every flower that grows in my front yard.  He grabs my shoulders lavishing his love on my with every verse I read and with every smile from others.  He hugs me so tight.  He loves me so much.  And his love is so beautiful.  It is never ending, never dull, never fake.  It is as if I am in the gardens of Eden walking with Him.  He is my everything.  

He can be your everything too.  He came into this world not to condemn the world, but to save it.  And not to just save it and say, "See you later good luck!"  NO!  He came so that he could personally love you and care for you.... So if you have ever dreamed of having that someone who loves you so passionately and so beautifully, get to know Jesus.  He is always waiting to make a difference in your life. 

I love this verse: 

"But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." -Isaiah 43:1

God is jealous for your love.  He calls you by name.  Can you see him in the beauty of this world?  Can you hear him in the music that fills the air?  Take a leap and dive into the deep love of Christ.  You will never want to go back!!!

I AM READY; HE IS WITH ME!!

A New Semester.  A new journey.  I sit all ready to go to bed: damp hair, polka dot pajamas, two pairs of fuzzy socks on ( one knee high, the other fuzzy pair on top), my Pandora Hidden Garden Radio calls my name, and my snuggly bed is sending me to sleep.

I am ready.  Not only to go to bed, but to start a whole new semester of college at Concordia University.  We just started a new year, and now a new semester.  And I AM READY!!

I have a healthy lunch all packed and ready to be put in its cooler.  I have my schedule written out nicely and in bold I put where each class is located ( don't want to go to a room from last semester).  I have syllabuses printed out and waiting for me at the printer{DON'T FORGET CARLY!!!}  I have a cute and comfortable outfit planned out.  I have my new laptop bag ready with a planner, pens, pencils, paper, laptop cover, hand sanitizer, the whole shabang!!

SO YES I am ready, but all these preparations will have been done for nothing if I go to school with a bad perspective or a grumpy attitude.

I feel like a different person this time.  Last semester, I was still stuck in my High School thinking and perspective.  I said I loved God, but barely knew him.  Sure I knew the right Sunday School answer to give, but personally, I couldn't feel God.  I was lost.  On the outside, I was doing great!  Leading a small group, getting super involved at the college ministry at Saddleback Church, working part-time as a cashier/party hostess at Big Air Trampoline Park, and still somehow breathing.  Throw in choir, tons of homework, and you get my busy schedule.

I was so busy.  Busy with school. Busy with work. Busy with choir. Busy with small group. Busy with church.  Busy with everything.  Yet, I still was not hearing God clearly.

One day, while I was journaling, I realized God had been communicating with me the whole time, I was the one who was either not listening or, not paying attention.  On the bottom of every page in my journal is a verse.  Now being the very observant girl I am, I totally noticed these verses.... well actually it was on a normal Friday and I looked down and what do you know, a bible verse.  I am such a dork.  I read the verse.  I turned the page back to the one before and read that verse.  Then it hit me.  Each verse on the bottom of the page corresponded to what I had been journaling that day.

I remember sitting on the floor waiting for my class to start, when all of a sudden I couldn't stop smiling.  God was still there.  He had never moved....I had. And I was going to then move closer than ever and keep drawing close to Him.


So here I am.  Still Carly Ann Wilke.  But I have most definitely changed.  And for the better.

I have made time for God every day and have been falling in love with my savior!!! He has changed me so much in the allotted time of a month.

He has broken down my walls.  He has cleaned and bandaged my wounds.  He has saved me.

A year ago, I was not this close to God.  I talk to Him like my best friend.  I leave my prayers open until I go to bed because there is always either something or someone to be praying for!  I start my day with Him.  I read the Bible and soak in all the truth and beauty I can from what I read.  I enjoy God's creation by hiking, running, and looking up at the beautiful sky.

This semester will be different.  I have a newly rooted faith in Christ Jesus.  I have a less busy schedule.  Instead of going to school every day, I will be going to school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

I can't wait to see what God will do this semester.  I can't wait to see how he moves in my life.  I can't wait to learn more.  I can't wait to love more.

I believe God can move in your life, even if it is a busy one.  He will always work things out for His glory.  BUT, instead of confining God to your schedule,  work your schedule around your time with Him....wow.  Just think of all He could do.

So that's what I have done.  I have two full days free for God to do what He wills.  If that means me staying home and just spending time with him, then I will do it.  If that means going to coffee with a good friend, a new friend, a mentor, or a seventh grader, then I will do it.

 My prayer for this semester is this:

GOD USE ME, SPEAK TO ME, LOVE ME, TEACH ME, SAVE ME!!

I pray that this new beginning brings you all blessings and that you too, will take time to get to know your creator....Trust me, He is a rad guy!!!

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them every sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love our name may rejoice in you.
For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous;
you surround them with your favor as with a shield."
     ~Psalm 5:11-12

The Wonders of a New Year

{Meant to be posted yesterday, sorry!!!}

Day one of a brand new year,

as I sip on my morning coffee,

 remembering the night before, 

filled with celebration and cheer.

I wonder what 2015 will hold,

I wonder what I will learn,

I wonder if I will be bold,

I wonder if I will stop every once in a while,

to smell a flower, and say hello to my King who does not walk this earth,

but rules it from above, for HE IS my one and only TRUE LOVE!

Will I stand tall and be the one God created me to be?

Or will I fall under the pressures that this world has dropped into my hands.

The calluses and bruises from the past year are almost healed, 

but the smallest pebble would cause them to bleed.

So I come to you, Lord, humbly I kneel.

Please take the shame, guilt, and pain. 

Lord save me from myself and 

Empty me of anything offensive.

For when I am emptied of myself and filled with your peace,

Nothing Will Shake Me!

For you are with me, and I am not alone.

ON the contrary, you have welcomed me into your home.

You prepare me a room in the Kingdom of God,

so here, this year, I will shine your love.

I will be a glimpse of your grace and joy.

I will forgive,

because you forgave me when I was unforgivable.

I will love,

because you loved me when I was unlovable.

I will serve,

because you served me when I was in need of help.

I will shine like the morning sun.

I will sparkle like the evening star.

I will proclaim your name saying that you are the one,

The one who came down from above.

To break our chains, and set us free.

You came down because you loved me.

2015 will be one heck of a year.

Your plans surpass mine, so what better way to start, 

than by leaving the empty pages

to be filled by the one who not only holds the pen

but who will forever hold my heart!

Christmas Cheer = A Wonderful Year

Christmas.

A time to draw near to family and friends.

And the celebration never truly ends.

Lights are seen inside and out.

People run from store to store, from house to house, from party to party.

But what is Christmas really about?

Is it about a man who brings presents to only those who are nice?

OR is it about the baby boy whose birth brought us peace!?

We hear the carols and sing along, 

but have you ever thought about that night described in every Christmas song?

Have you seen what the wind saw, have you heard what the little lamb heard? 

A song high above the trees, angels in the sky singing praises to the little King..

do you know what you sing?

Do you know what the little shepherd knows?  

Do you know this little child shivering in the cold? 

Have you given him a gift of silver or of gold? 

Have you prepared him room in your heart?
If so then,
 Say what the King said to all the people everywhere. 

Pray for peace, people everywhere! Listen to what I say

The Child, the Chid, sleeping in the night

He will bring us goodness and light

He will bring us goodness and light.

Goodness and light, that shines SO bright that the night is no longer night, 

but it is indeed a beautiful sight!
So sing with a full heart.
Sing each song with joy and peace.
And draw closer to the little king who
brought grace and who will never depart.
So do not move away, but instead
Love Him a little more and Know him a little better each and every day.
Don't let the Christmas cheer end here.
Just as Buddy the elf said,"Treat Every Day Like Christmas!"
Oh, if we did that, 2015 would be a wonderful year!