Exactly Where I'm Supposed To Be

Wow... it has been over a whole month since I last wrote.  A lot of things have happened.  A lot of things were started.  A lot of things ended.  But I guess that's kindof how life works...Right!?!?

In order to start something new, we must finish tying the loose ends of something else.

You want to know a secret?.....  I thought this year would be different.  In fact, this year didn't go the way I planned AT ALL!!! Although I must say it went even better than I planned!!

Looking back at first day of college Carly,  I had a lot planned for my life.  I had it in my mind that I knew exactly what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be part of, and who I wanted to be.  Hahahaha but boy was I wrong...LOLZ.

Here are some things that I wanted to be true (some did come true):  get connected to a great group of girls at school,  be motivated to do my best in every class, sing in the women's choir at Concordia,  make everyone I pass smile,  try to be as positive and authentic at the same time as possible, learn something new, lead a seventh grade small group, get connected in the College Ministry at church, be vulnerable with a brand new small group, help out around the house, do the whole art thing more often, read more, write more, sing more, learn to play the piano, adventure somewhere completely new, go on my first date, maybe find a certain someone special, and plenty more....

Here is what actually happened in order of the list above( prepare to laugh):  I am beyond grateful for the girls I met at Concordia!  They teach me about love and encourage me every day to be the best me there is! The whole motivation thing ended around first semester ahahaha but thankfully all my new gal friends and I pushed through and were able to accomplish our first year strong!  I did sing in the women's Choir first semester but then found out I had vocal calluses and needed to take a break and rest my voice.  I also had to do voice therapy.  I will not be going back to choir sadly, but the girls I met there are precious to me and it was a blessing making music with them! I learned that it is literally(that's right, not figuratively, but for reals) impossible to make everyone happy, but that doesn't mean you don't try, it just means you trust that God will send another person to catch the ones you missed.  Same goes for the next one.  It is really hard to be authentic, but I have learned that the more authentic you are, the more joy you can share with someone!  Joy lasts, happiness fades away.  My brain is filled with random facts about the History of California, Anthropology, Biology, Theology, Philosophy, The Nature of Mathematics, and much much more...if you ever want to know something random shoot me a message hahaha! My seventh-grade girls are crazy, loud, very good actresses, but they are also very sweet, kind, carry a lot of heartache, and most importantly just need a good big sister.  That is what my co-leader Kenzie and I try to be and it is a challenge I accept each and every day ( even on the days when they drive me crazy and require a ton of Grace...love you girls!!)  I love CM at Saddleback Church!!! I have grown so much because of it and my small group which has been amazing!! We are so vulnerable and it is beautiful!  I love doing life with these girls and I know we will grow as a group these next years ahead of us! My poor parents.... I have been the worst roommate ever... I am trying to be better about taking the trash out, doing some chores, and helping my mom out with dinner and stuff...they are amazing parents and super encouraging!! I love writing, painting, crocheting, singing, sewing....everything artlike!!! I have learned that God is my sole inspiration and without him I can do none of these things!!  The Piano thing has finally started!! Just got a keyboard and it is amazing!! IF anyone wants to teach me I would love help!! hahaha

Life has been its own adventure, but I have also gone on hikes with some amazing people and visited the most beautiful locations that just screams God's creativity!!
The First date has been accomplished blahahahahahahahah!  Only took like 19 years but was well worth the wait!  He was awesome and such an inspiring man.  He taught me a lot about myself and I treasure our friendship!!   To answer the next one...no haven't found the special person yet.... I have found a bazillion special people!!  God has blessed me with so many new relationships that it is overwhelming.  Now I am not at all saying that I know each and every one of these new people, but that they still are making an impact on my life and I know we will one day know each other very well.

So yes I may still have a lot of learning to do, and I may still be just as confused about life now compared to when I started this year, but I have also learned so many things about myself and who God is molding me into.

I felt so convicted by this verse today:
 "My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.  It is the Lord who judges me.  Therefore, judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes.  He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts.  At that time each will receive his praise from God." ~ 1 Corinthians 4:4-5

God is revealing the motives in my heart.  He is bringing to light all that has been hidden in darkness.  Sometimes I don't like what I see or what He is teaching me, but I know one thing... that HE loves me and has a purpose for me.  He promises me a life like no other and I want that!!  [p.s. HE loves you too! And has a plan for you!! I am always here to pray for you guys!!]


Just like the wise words of Demi Lovato from Camp Rock:
This is real
This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me